Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Is He Still Writing About Bears?

So the other night my friend Jane* was sitting at home in the kitchen about ten miles from here enjoying a small dinner, when she heard a Noise at the window a couple of feet away and, looking out, spotted a triangular tan shape floating in the dark. The shape, she immediately knew, was the snout of a bear going after the bird feeder attached to the windowsill.

"I was basically a fish in a bowl," she said, so she reached over and turned off the light, which allowed her to see the bear finish ripping the feeder violently off the windowsill (just a few feet away) and wander off toward the garage, suet in hand.

So she's telling us this on a Sunday night. And frankly, Sundays, who the hell needs it? Because I'm not sleeping on a Sunday anyway, let's be frank, because of all the imaginary bears and thieves and bigfoots prowling around outside, not to mention REAL ones. And Jane*'s going to be fine, because she's from Minnesota** and they used to coax bears into the house in winter for warmth.

Can we be frank? Sundays are the worst.

*Real name, but doesn't it sound generic?
**Wisconsin's name changed to preserve anonymity


Life is Great! said...

Uncle Bill,
Click on Below Traffic Cams to see your trip Thursday Morning to Long Island. For some reason the cams were not on line Wed am but ussually are.
Happy Thanks Giving!
Guess who?



Suzanne said...

Wow, coaxing bears? Wouldn't it be slightly less dangerous to just get a really big, hairy dog?