Thursday, November 29, 2007

I Got Nothin', and Baltimore Calls

You know when you'll just be sitting at home and the phone rings and it's Baltimore? And the caller ID says "Baltimore" but you don't think it's actually Baltimore, the city of Baltimore, you think it's someone FROM Baltimore, so you pick it up, and but no, it's Baltimore, the city, founded in 1729 and second only to Lincoln, Nebraska in its ability to talk your ear off?

"Hello, BALtimore," you say, resignedly. Pretty soon you're hearing about how much better the cod trade used to be, and things of that nature, and a detailed description of how pretty Fell's Point is going to be once it's finished getting spiffed up, and how there are still cobblestone streets if you know where to look, and the crabs are still as good as ever.

And Baltimore talks your ear off, and your ear falls to the floor and you suddenly find yourself agreeing to visit Baltimore "real soon," but then Baltimore gets you somehow to commit to driving down there this weekend.


3 comments:

Suzanne said...

I grew up near Baltimore... and I sure miss those phone calls. It's sad when you move away, and you and Baltimore swear you will always be friends, and Baltimore pinky-promises to call everyday... but the cold reality: Baltimore never calls anymore. But I'm glad to hear the crabs are still great.

Baltimore said...

Hey Hon, glad you're coming down. I am beautiful and dirty and full of great food and architecture. As always, I'm the queen of tacky charm! 34th street's all lit-up and the Mayor's Christmas parade is on Sunday. Don't forget to be careful.

Bill Braine said...

Beautiful and dirty and already full of great food? Hmm...maybe I should buy Baltimore a drink...