Tuesday, August 7, 2007

The Heat? On.

Today Florida feels like Satan's rectal thermometer. How do I know? I know because I'm there. Here, that is. And even though it's only 7 degrees hotter here than at home (95 vs. 88), the...sun...is...burrowing through what's left of my skin like a...like a...sorry, I'm out of similies because of the above. Freaking hot.

Yesterday, I ran in the morning. Have I already said this? Perhaps I'm delerious. That might explain the palace of ice cream cones I can see hovering upside-down in the distance, drawing me forward, forward. Anyway, I ran in the morning, snakes and lizards darting across my path, heat-prostrated pit bulls ranging alongside behind fences, a petit, angry, blisteringly hot land crab threatening my feet, another version -- scuttling gray monster -- pulling itself into a burrow as I passed. Bloated alligator carcasses lined my route, dead of heatstroke all of them, dehydrated vultures plucking listlessly at their livers, the vultures thinking of January and cold-water lobster. All that was missing was Virgil to guide me the 4 miles.

Ice cream!


Lebo said...

Dude - I have down the west palm run. It's hot. It's africa hot. tarzan couldn't handle that sorta hot.

wcs said...

It ain't the heat, it's the humidity.

Ok, it's the heat.

BarbaraCA said...

Maybe you need to rethink your timing. Don't East Coasters go to Florida in the winter? Snowbirds, not umm, mosquitohawks.

Anonymous said...

Didn't you think that nothing could be worse than NYC on a 98 degree humid as hell day? As I sit in the furnace that is my unairconditioned home, I think back fondly to those days when I could turn on my 5000 BTU crap air conditioner and it would turn my little apt. into an icebox. Or I could go to the movies even. Or go for a run at my waaay too expensive gym (pre-children, dispoable income, lalala). But now we're all happy with our house and suburbia, etc. and trying to save $$ by only turning the bedroom ac's on at night.

Bill Braine said...

Ah, yes. The AC. We sleep in the living room on those nights. Only enough AC for the littleuns.

On the bright side -- saw the distant contrail from today's shuttle launch. So the boy, he's happy.

TeeJay said...

Satan takes no prisoners, Sir William. Even gentle-minded blogger-runners such as yourself have no sanctuary from his humidiliation.