Monday, December 17, 2007

New Words for Snow

Snain
not sleet, precisely, but simultaneous snow and rain

Chofle

snain after it has collected four inches deep upon the ground (up to four inches, it is known as chofe)

Clasmerak
ice pellets the precise size and shape of kosher salt

Fluzzard

snain or clasmerak that starts falling in earnest each time you leave your house

Scrujge

the solid sheet of ice-that-was-snow that now covers your lawn/driveway/front walk

Scoil

solid lumps of ice that was snow yesterday when you shoveled it onto the lawn and which you now use to climb your lawn, which has turned into scrujge overnight

Snoce

individual chunks of scoil that have frozen onto pavement that break your toe when you kick them

Chundl

the sheets of frozen clasmerak that fly off trucks on the Tappan Zee

Schit



9 comments:

wcs said...

Ok, let's try again...

Sheets of clasmerak?!! Oh, my.

walkingfool said...

Bill, did you know the indians have over 700 words for snow. Amazing.

Anonymous said...

My driveway is scrujge already, and will probably remain that way all winter long. The sidewalk is getting there too.

Mark said...

What would you call chundle that you chisel/scrape/bash with your trusty rusty ice scraper, and push it off your car BEFORE heading out? I get such a sense of satisfaction as it slides off the roof, down the back windshield and then smashes into dozens of little chundlets in the road (not in your driveway, silly)

Bill Braine said...

I'd still call it chundl, without the final silent 'e,' because that's how it's spelled. But I would call it the most satisfying form of chundl there is. Unless you pry off a big chunk and, before you can catch it, it slides down the front windshield and smashes your wiper blades.

I took great pleasure yesterday in lifting a giant sheet of the stuff off one of the cars and throwing it onto the scrujge, where it shattered like plate glass. Whee!

Heather B. said...

So scrujge was the crap that was surrounding my car which ended up breaking my shovel thus leaving my car stuck for like two days.

Also, this guy in my neighborhood put plastic over his car before the snow started and then just lifted it off when it was over. I thought of you.

Anonymous said...

Is that Klingon?

Bill Braine said...

Yeah, ma. It's Klingon.

TeeJay said...

That f%#king chundl!