I just grabbed bat #2 (or maybe it was #1, returned!) out of the fireplace, showed it off to an appreciative woman who lives with me, and tossed it out into the night. Between the bats and the snakes, I'm wondering if maybe Lord Voldemort, from the Harry Potter books*, hasn't taken up residence in our cellar.
*Hi! You must be from Google. I live upstate! (Also, Lindsay Lohan!)
UPDATE: No search hits for Harry Potter or Lindsay Lohan, but I did get someone looking for "man fcking animal," so I guess I'm on the right track! Go Internet!