Thursday, April 12, 2007

PaintBomb™

I'm going to invent a Paint Bomb; sort of like one of those Raid fogger deals. You put plastic on everything you don't want painted, set the Paint Bomb, and leave. It's that easy. Set PaintBomb™ after breakfast and have dinner in your BRAND-NEW KITCHEN! PaintBomb™ does the work FOR you.

"My husband and I each bowled 240 -- and when we got home we celebrated in our BRAND-NEW DINING ROOM! Thank you, PaintBomb™!"


5 comments:

Jayne said...

Bill... I think you've been sniffing too much paint.

Sophie said...

It's possible you could modify one of those Scrubbing Bubbles(tm) automatic shower cleaners to do the job...

wcs said...

Sign me up.

evenfurtherupstate said...

In college we once had the next-best-thing: the Roach Bomb. For months we told our landlord we had a roach problem. He insisted HIS houses were all clean and certainly would not contain roaches. Luckily, one that I had killed with a rolled-up newspaper we kept handy for just this sort of thing fell into a glass jar of congealed ground beef fat, where it was preserved like an ancient fossil in amber. I can still see the look of shock on our landlord's face when confronted with the evidence, followed by some mumbling in Italian. His solution was the Roach Bomb. When we came home following the "bombing," there was an odd smell of chemicals permeating the apartment. And literally hundreds of dead roaches. A labor saving device, no doubt, but in many ways I preferred the game my roommates and I had developed. We'd come home late at night, often drunk, open the door to the living room, walk over to the kitchen in the dark, grab those rolled-up newspapers, turn on the light and -- BAM! SMACK! WHACK! -- see how many roaches we could kill before they all scurried out of sight. Ahhh -- good times. . . .

Bill Braine said...

Dude, I just want to paint my kitchen. Gross.