I’m standing at the Newburgh ferry landing in the morning, waiting for the boat to come in. Another fellow waits nearby smoking a pipe, looking out over the water. A third commuter who has ridden his bike to the ferry is walking along the waterfront looking down at the river.
“Sign of the times,” says the guy near me. He’s wearing paint-spattered pants and boots, with a flannel shirt. A heavy ring of keys hangs from his belt.
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
He gestures at the other guy. “Looking for cans and bottles down at the river. Things are getting tough. Yeah, I keep my eyes on things, see a lot of…sit-ua-tions…going on.” He hitches up some snot back there in the works, like he’s going to spit, but doesn’t.
“Take New York City,” he continues. “That where you’re going?”
It’s one of those conversations where you know you’re about to hear some crazy theory. The Illuminati. The Sumerians. Bigfoot. The CIA and St. John holed up together writing the Book of Revelations and the Dead Sea Scrolls with Rasputin.
“Yup.”
“Now they’re trying to charge money to get to certain parts of Manhattan?”
“Oh, yeah, a congestion tax.”
“Sometimes I wonder if I ought to pull out to the wilderness, you know?” He laughs. “I mean, what happens when all those people down there can’t make it?”
And suddenly I’m right there with him. I get a little excited.
“You know, it’s funny — a guy I know and I were just talking about this. You see down there —” I gesture to the south, toward Storm King.
“Yeah,” he says, grinning.
“There’s a narrow place right there where they’d have to come up. We get a few people in the pass there, we can hold ’em off.”
We smile, chums, and wish each other well as we get aboard the boat.
•
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Get Rich Quick
Am I the only one who’s ever thought it’d be great to get rich quick? How come there’s no industry for that? Here’s how it would work: I’d be on my way to my job, and suddenly I’d stop at an ATM and do a balance inquiry, and I’d see a LOT more money in there than I thought I should have.*
What could be wrong with that? Okay, fine, if I have to do some work for it, so be it. Here’s my blog. Who’s buying? Just another week or two and my AdSense revenues will start. I think. Maybe I should have an IPO to raise capital for my projects, then write about the projects and sell ads next to the pretty words about the projects. Then, quickly – and it’s important that it be quick or I’d just spend it on groceries and baseboards – I am rich. And those wise shareholders who got in on the ground floor, well, they’re rich too. I mean, they’d have to be, to blow coin on my blog IPO.
Any financial advisors out there? Whaddaya think, IPO?
*This seems likely to me, as the converse has happened hundreds of times.
•
What could be wrong with that? Okay, fine, if I have to do some work for it, so be it. Here’s my blog. Who’s buying? Just another week or two and my AdSense revenues will start. I think. Maybe I should have an IPO to raise capital for my projects, then write about the projects and sell ads next to the pretty words about the projects. Then, quickly – and it’s important that it be quick or I’d just spend it on groceries and baseboards – I am rich. And those wise shareholders who got in on the ground floor, well, they’re rich too. I mean, they’d have to be, to blow coin on my blog IPO.
Any financial advisors out there? Whaddaya think, IPO?
*This seems likely to me, as the converse has happened hundreds of times.
•
Monday, May 14, 2007
Reason #346
There’s a flat trail nearby, a former railroad right of way now paved. It passes through some of the finest country around — the Black Dirt region, source of the finest onions — and makes for a scenic and pleasant run or cycling trip. A lot of my marathon training runs take place on the Heritage Trail, as it’s called.
This past weekend it was home to the Matthew Dudgeon Memorial 7k Run/Walk, an event in its third/seventh year. The race is held to bring attention to a suite of rare mitochondrial diseases, one of which claimed the life of 27-month-old Matty in 2000. In addition to raising money for the study of these diseases, entry fees and raffle funds go toward supporting families in the region who are coping with terminal illness. Matthew’s family are the force behind this event, supported by the local running community and others.
Whether you’re looking for reasons to run or not, you’ve found one. There are events like this one around the country on any given weekend. Bring the kids. If you can’t run 4.4 (or 3.5 or 6.2) miles, you can walk. Your entry fee will invariably help someone who needs it, you’ll connect with other humans, you’ll help a family make something good come out of something tragic, you’ll enjoy yourself outside, and you’ll increase your own fitness. And boy howdy, standing around with all those fit people and exuberant youngsters will restore something you might be missing if you’ve been watching the news or looking at your gas bill …maybe it’s optimism, faith in your fellow people, or just the clean sensation of taking a deep breath and doing something with it.
Often, you’ll get a t-shirt.
•
This past weekend it was home to the Matthew Dudgeon Memorial 7k Run/Walk, an event in its third/seventh year. The race is held to bring attention to a suite of rare mitochondrial diseases, one of which claimed the life of 27-month-old Matty in 2000. In addition to raising money for the study of these diseases, entry fees and raffle funds go toward supporting families in the region who are coping with terminal illness. Matthew’s family are the force behind this event, supported by the local running community and others.
Whether you’re looking for reasons to run or not, you’ve found one. There are events like this one around the country on any given weekend. Bring the kids. If you can’t run 4.4 (or 3.5 or 6.2) miles, you can walk. Your entry fee will invariably help someone who needs it, you’ll connect with other humans, you’ll help a family make something good come out of something tragic, you’ll enjoy yourself outside, and you’ll increase your own fitness. And boy howdy, standing around with all those fit people and exuberant youngsters will restore something you might be missing if you’ve been watching the news or looking at your gas bill …maybe it’s optimism, faith in your fellow people, or just the clean sensation of taking a deep breath and doing something with it.
Often, you’ll get a t-shirt.
•
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
The Road Taken
As far as I know, I’ve only eaten roadkill twice. The first time, I was dosed — I knew my friend to be a hunter, and thought the venison I was eating was the victim of first-degree murder. Then my friend said “well, when I found it…” and I realized we were talking involuntary deerslaughter. It was roadkill, and of uncertain provenance, too – not organically free-range run over by my friend, but run over by someone else and discovered freshly dead alongside a Colorado highway.
I forged ahead through my steak. It wasn’t bad, but I later had regular old premeditated-murdered venison and it was better.
The other time was just last weekend, the morning after the Derby party. Our Louisville-born hostess fired up the crockpot for the gourmet roadkill brunch of Foolhardy Grouse That Thought It Could Take on a Ford Focus. I had a small slice of white meat, and it tasted fine.
Late last night, driving home from the ferry after working late, I swerved to avoid a possum. Because I looked at its leering, underworldy face, and did not feel hungry at all.
•
I forged ahead through my steak. It wasn’t bad, but I later had regular old premeditated-murdered venison and it was better.
The other time was just last weekend, the morning after the Derby party. Our Louisville-born hostess fired up the crockpot for the gourmet roadkill brunch of Foolhardy Grouse That Thought It Could Take on a Ford Focus. I had a small slice of white meat, and it tasted fine.
Late last night, driving home from the ferry after working late, I swerved to avoid a possum. Because I looked at its leering, underworldy face, and did not feel hungry at all.
•
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Bullets & Bulbs
In a flash, mud-rich early spring has become blooming late spring, and young men’s fancy has turned to shooting up the ferry shelter down at the Newburgh waterfront, where not even the shattered glass can temper the nice weather. The daffodils are shouting out their yellow hellos, the grass looks like astroturf, and the hothouse greens from the organic farm seem a little more robust than last week.
It’s ramp season, too. Go get some responsibly & grill 'em with a little olive oil and sea salt, then put them on every sandwich you can make. Serve them alongside your shad before it’s gone (I haven’t managed to score any yet).
When all nature’s putting out shoots and the glittering crystalline ice of winter becomes a memory, you can almost understand why some gangbanger might feel the urge to fire off his own version of a barbaric yawp through a sheet of glass. But please, people (and I'm sure that the local BBK chapter boasts several regular readers), go easy.
•
It’s ramp season, too. Go get some responsibly & grill 'em with a little olive oil and sea salt, then put them on every sandwich you can make. Serve them alongside your shad before it’s gone (I haven’t managed to score any yet).
When all nature’s putting out shoots and the glittering crystalline ice of winter becomes a memory, you can almost understand why some gangbanger might feel the urge to fire off his own version of a barbaric yawp through a sheet of glass. But please, people (and I'm sure that the local BBK chapter boasts several regular readers), go easy.
•
Thursday, May 3, 2007
On Getting a Contractor
So your daughter is getting old enough to crawl and you don’t have a) spindles on your staircase or b) skills or c) time to develop (b) so you can install (a). You want: a handyman. Simple. The process works like this:
1) Identify a need: Spindles, banister
2) Look in phonebook (because you’re old-fashioned and the Internet just doesn’t work for this kind of thing) under “construction.” Find lots of people.
3) Call three of them. Get firm commitments for them to come out and give you an estimate.
4) On the appointed day, wait.
5) Repeat Step 4.
6) Repeat Step 2.
7) Repeat Step 3, choosing three different contractors.
8) Repeat Step 4.
9) As you begin to repeat Step 2, get a call from the first of the second batch of contractors. Make a firm commitment for him to come right over.
10) Repeat Step 4.
11) Repeat Step 1: Baby helmet, knee & elbow pads, gym mats.
This process works for all kind of skilled people. Say you want an engineer to come assess your drainage and foundation needs. You can do the exact same thing. Say you need a painter. A landscaper. A babysitter. Anyone, really. This exercise really builds your appointment-making abilities. What it does not build is your house.
Somewhere these guys are working up a really great condo complex or something, and they’re consulting on foundations and watching each others’ kids and putting mulch around the yew trees and building staircases and kitchen cabinets up and down the hillsides while the radiant-heated tile floors glow in the setting sun and the newly-hung light fixtures glint off the pristine birchwood banisters and spindles on the baby-safe staircases that lead ever upward to brand-new, tastefully colored rooms where people sleep adrift on seas of pleasant dreams.
•
1) Identify a need: Spindles, banister
2) Look in phonebook (because you’re old-fashioned and the Internet just doesn’t work for this kind of thing) under “construction.” Find lots of people.
3) Call three of them. Get firm commitments for them to come out and give you an estimate.
4) On the appointed day, wait.
5) Repeat Step 4.
6) Repeat Step 2.
7) Repeat Step 3, choosing three different contractors.
8) Repeat Step 4.
9) As you begin to repeat Step 2, get a call from the first of the second batch of contractors. Make a firm commitment for him to come right over.
10) Repeat Step 4.
11) Repeat Step 1: Baby helmet, knee & elbow pads, gym mats.
This process works for all kind of skilled people. Say you want an engineer to come assess your drainage and foundation needs. You can do the exact same thing. Say you need a painter. A landscaper. A babysitter. Anyone, really. This exercise really builds your appointment-making abilities. What it does not build is your house.
Somewhere these guys are working up a really great condo complex or something, and they’re consulting on foundations and watching each others’ kids and putting mulch around the yew trees and building staircases and kitchen cabinets up and down the hillsides while the radiant-heated tile floors glow in the setting sun and the newly-hung light fixtures glint off the pristine birchwood banisters and spindles on the baby-safe staircases that lead ever upward to brand-new, tastefully colored rooms where people sleep adrift on seas of pleasant dreams.
•
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
The Coming Trouble
This morning in the London office a colleague finished his plastic container of pineapple and said “and now, to add to the carbon footprint of my jet-fuel-imported pineapple…” and lofted the tub into the trash can.
Later, waiting over pints at the airport with a colleague from New York, we both laughed and laughed at this clever, dire observation.
Simultaneously we said “waddaya sposeda do?”
“Eat it?” my colleague suggested.
We then launched into a conversation about the apocalypse, laughing over the predicted necessity of him crawling over the dead bodies in the Lincoln Tunnel to reach the mainland, while chuckling at the fact that I will have to fend off him and his cannibal ilk with a shotgun at the narrow place in the highlands where they will attempt to come north to the farmland.
Good times. Good times.
•
Later, waiting over pints at the airport with a colleague from New York, we both laughed and laughed at this clever, dire observation.
Simultaneously we said “waddaya sposeda do?”
“Eat it?” my colleague suggested.
We then launched into a conversation about the apocalypse, laughing over the predicted necessity of him crawling over the dead bodies in the Lincoln Tunnel to reach the mainland, while chuckling at the fact that I will have to fend off him and his cannibal ilk with a shotgun at the narrow place in the highlands where they will attempt to come north to the farmland.
Good times. Good times.
•
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